Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
