yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
