Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
