You just made me feel so damn special
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
