He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
