Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize