Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize