what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Is it penis luge time yet?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
