just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize