so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
