do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
