I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
