I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
