i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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