He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
