where am i from again
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize