12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just gargled with NyQuil
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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