Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
