Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
