look no pants
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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