tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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