Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
