I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
