weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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