dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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