why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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