it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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