Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
