K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
