I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
