I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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