I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
