I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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