I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
where are my eyebrows?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
