I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize