I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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