these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
