Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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