Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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