Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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