there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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