i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
