I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
