break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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