Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
