Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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