He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
