Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I deserve this hangover.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize