yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
