You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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