I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize