Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
