You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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