come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
