Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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