well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
