So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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