We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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